Life, Love and Relationships

… and let God live in me and thru me. :) 

There are accounts in the Bible where a prophet like Moses and Jacob were said to have been killed by God.  I was not able to appreciate its real meaning from Father Vaz’s explanation until I reflected on what I need to do with myself to be a channel of His unity and love.  I must give Him the consent to kill everything that is not Godly in me like my pride and prejudices that hinder me to be a channel of His peace.

This was affirmed even more after watching Bourne Ultimatum in which the lesson that I’ve come up with is I have a choice to choose who I want to be.  I have an option to seek for the truth in myself and face each demon that needs to be eradicated and be lifted up to Him.

I know it would be a struggle to always do what Jesus would do in a tight situation but with God’s grace and help I know I can do it.  The real battle is within and I know that God will be fighting it for me.

I am not Jason Bourne anymore. I am David Webb. - Jason Bourne

I am attending a Bible study class on Exodus every Tuesday.  And man!! I just realized how wonderful Exodus was written!  Father Vaz’s teachings surely hit home everytime I attended.

A realization from a verse led me to this blog.  The verse said ‘God did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines, although that was nearer, for God thought, "if the people face war, they may change their minds and return to Egypt."  So He led them by the way of the Red Sea.

God is promising to give me my dream job that even I never thought that I would ever dream of. (hehe weird ‘no? pero this is true)  A place that promises everything that I have wished for, from the boss, from the kind of work and from even the smallest details that I’ve been asking God for. 

If that is really what God’s will me to have then I can say that He had led me to a very long journey before bringing me to it.  As how exodus narrated it, it was a journey by way of the Red Sea. 

Along the long journey He refined me, He refined my character, He refined my heart’s intentions as I ask Him for that job for so many years.  I always ask Him "Bakit di mo kaya ako hindi binibigyan ng work na may travel opportunity?  E alam Mo namang gusto ko ‘yon" this and so much more!!!!  Most of all, He refined me to love Him more and to know who He really is in my life.

As I realized this, I prayed to God to bless and refine me enough for Him to trust me with all the glory and richness that He has in store and prepared for me.  I also realized that He loves me so much that He doesn’t want to lose me from the success that He has in His bag.

I long for that day that I am fully trusted by God to be given what I ask for. :)  I long for that day that I will be taking the way of the land of the Philistines as I walk towards the fulfillment of what He wills for me.  For His plan is always the best.

I am a work in progress still battling the war within!  I lift it all up to You to fight each war for me, for when I am alone I am weak but with You I am stronger!

‘You have given me peace in a lifetime of war.’ - Achilles to Briseis

It’s been nearly a month since I last posted a blog and within that period so many wonderful experience with God.  Enough for me to describe the feeling by saying ‘basta.. iba.. iba talaga… ewan ko.. basta.. iba talaga.. ang galing… ang galing talaga…’ as I can’t explain the feeling that I have inside.

It’s been almost exactly a year since I asked God the meaning of His extravagant love that I heard from the Tobit’s weekend speaker.  As in I looked up to heaven then and seriously asked Him what it really is.  Back then I know I love God but there was a doubt in my heart if I am really, really loving Him.  Back then I doubt if God really loves me.

But NOW!!!! I can only say that God is crazy in love with me!!! God is my number 1 fan!!! God is SO MUCH in love with me!!!! To the point that I can’t even say that I love Him because I can’t compare my love to the greatness and extravagance of His love for me. 

I flash my sweetest smile whenever I talk about Him.  I am always in a state of euphoria whenever I talk about Him and whenever I think of Him.  It’s like falling in love all over again. :)  Such a wonderful feeling!!!

I found this by submitting myself to Him with a heart that fears the unknown.  He gave me courage as I prayed for it in times of trials.  He answered my questions and prayers.  I was looking for other things and He led me to find His love.  I hang on to Him and fought for Him and He made me felt His love.  Such a wonderful love. Iba talaga!!! :) 

I didn’t find it by just sitting and relaxing at home.  I found it by giving myself to Him through service and helping other people. I told Him that I am ready to love Him more.  I heeded His call and He gave me a priceless find.

He first loved me then He led me to love myself and once I love myself I am able to love His people with His love. :) 

With HIM, I feel BIGGER and BETTER!!!!! :)  My God is SO MUCH CRAZY in love with me.  I believe that while He is creating me He spent days to mold me in a very special way with a lot of love.

I pray that you would find the love that I can feel from Him.