Life, Love and Relationships

I decided to attend Discovery Weekend just to accompany my household members.  I was convinced that it will be a weekend full of discovery for them and just a bit for me.

Talks were given on how to discover your Passion, Purpose, Pain, Pleasure and Power.  In each talk, I found myself crying.  Yes, even during the Pleasure part. J  Why?  Because I can hear God telling me that I’ve finally found Him and discovered that He is my Passion, my Purpose, my Pleasure, my Power and He is my glory in every Pain.

It was truly a weekend of discoveries, discoveries of His great love for me in so many ways.  God used my household members to call me to Discovery Weekend.  Once again, He told me that during the times that He asked me to give, I would later realize that I was the one who is actually being given.

I love you Lord!  You are my PRINCE of peace and I will live my life for YOU!!!

I am a scatterbrain. :)  I have so many thoughts that sometimes I can’t put into words.  There will be times when I am in a roll explaining things then suddenly my mind will be blocked.  There will be times when I can’t seem to organize the message that I want to convey.  There will be times when I would struggle for words to use, may the discussion be in tagalog or english.

I was called to share in a CLP about the life and mission of an SFC.  It is a topic very close to my heart for it is where I found a deeper relationship with God.  I know I have a lot of things to share but my problem is how can I effectively share it in an organized, meaningful and not so boring way.

I know how to start my sharing but I didn’t know how to organize the body of my sharing.  I spent my whole day praying for Him to use me as His mouthpiece.  Praying for Him to give me the message that He wants to convey. 

Lo and behold! He gave me what to share while I was listening to the talk.  My turn came and as I stood in front, English words flowed out freely.  Thoughts were organized and message was conveyed effectively that even I was amazed.  After my sharing, I was congratulated by my co-SFCs and participants.  All I can say is, PRAISE GOD!!  Because I alone know what happened inside of me.  I alone know how scattered brain I am and in my weakness that is when He became stronger for me to be a witness of His power and majesty.

I became more productive and more confident as I submit to His power over me.  I know that I am nothing without HIM.  I learned through time that In everything I do, may it be big or small, I need to ask for His help. 

Humility to the fullest this is one of the many things that I need to learn! :) 

Ilang beses ko ng narinig ang salitang ito ‘nalaman ko ang halaga mo sa buhay ko ng nawala ka…’  Hindi ko akalaing masasabi ko rin pala ito minsan sa buhay ko. 

Sana nga ay hindi pa huli ang lahat.  Sana ay ibalik ka pa sa akin ng Maykapal.  Sana nga ay bigyan Niya ako ng pagkakataon na mapasaakin ka muli. 

Sa pagkakataong yun ay aalagaan kita at papagyamanin.  Sa pagkakataong yun ay ipagmamalaki kita bilang isang biyaya ng Maykapal.  Sa pagkakataong yun ay kikilalanin kitang akin ng walang halong pagdududa.

O! Akala mo tao ang binabanggit ko no??? hehehe.. I was diagnosed with a swelling in my vocal chords due to improper and overusage of voice.  My throat doctor ordered me not to sing until my vocal chords are perfectly well.  The first thing that popped in my mind is the thought that I can’t praise and worship Him to the fullest.  This thought saddened me.

Then it all came back, the times when I didn’t acknowledge that God gifted me in singing… the times when I didn’t acknowledge that it is one of my passions like dancing… the times when I am even so shy to write down singing as my hobby because I thought I was not good at it… as a proof I just added tonight singing as a hobby and interest in my friendster profile…

Now that there is a threat that it might be taken from me, I realized how important it is in my life.  I realized how I love to passionately sing songs of praises for HIM.  I realized how I love to express myself thru singing.  I realized how God is using me to inspire people thru singing.  I realized how alive I am when I sing.  I realized how my whole being enters another dimension while singing. I realized how essential it is as an expression of my love for HIM.

God taught me all of these the hard way because I failed to listen to His affirmations thru the people around me.  I am now praying for Him to heal me.  I am now enduring days with no music in exchange for a lifetime of a promising union with God’s voice.

Please pray for me.  Please help me beg God to heal me.  Please pray for me to have the discipline not to sing and shout for the meantime.

I now know what I’ve lost and I will do everything to get it back.